Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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