absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
