At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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