Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
