I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize