I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
