If i come over, it means nothing
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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