I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
