idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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