dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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