Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
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