my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
The Olympian is in my bed
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
