This girl is more easily done than said...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
