i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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