So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
