I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
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