I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
