btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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