I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
