Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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