I like my sex mixed with concussions.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
In other news, I just burned my penis
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Randomize