About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
