We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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