It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
