We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
