no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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