I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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