Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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