seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize