i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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