Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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