I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
