i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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