the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm at about main and main street
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
