your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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