The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
