they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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