for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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