3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
