Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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