She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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