No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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