yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
