then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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