Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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