so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
