You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
