so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
