I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
