ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
