It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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