so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
