i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
