i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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