We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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