I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
