grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She even gives head with a lisp.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
