i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize