You work out of a Hotel?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize