I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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