so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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