The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just high enough for therapy.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
